A little bit of what the fuck?

OK. First up, let’s just say ‘rant ahead!’

Second up, let’s just say I’m making wild suppositions here, though I suspect that they are on the money …

So. I saw this trailer. For one of those film things.

It’s called ‘a Little Bit of Heaven’.

Now. Not so long since, I wrote a ‘reaction’ to a film called Love and Other Drugs, a RomCom with added incurable degenerative brain condition. Ah, look at the poor love, all shaky and pessimistic and not wanting to fall in love, even with the delightful Jake Gyllenhall, even when … etc etc.

When I submitted it to the Prospect blog, to be frank, they eviscerated it. Frankly a little cheeky considering the pay … let’s put it this way, I’m a better sub than the editor there, and it was subbed by someone who actually can sub. They took out vitally important stuff, and fucked up the flow utterly. But interestingly, we had a small argument about the line calling Hathaway’s character a slut. I won’t go into the whole argument, but she really is a slut, just one who is only seen to fuck one guy at a time … but anyone whose answerphone says ‘If I’m not picking up, it’s because I don’t want to fuck you’ has to be at least under suspicion …

It seems that Gyllenhall’s character is definitely a slut, a man-slut … and while there were female sluts in the film, it seems that Hollywood can have a male lead as a slut, but not a female … but this is all by-the-by. A Little Bit of Heaven has a female lead who apparently just wants sex. Excellent.

Naturally, she gets ill, sees the doctor ‘you look familiar, have we had sex?’ and they fall in love.


So. It’s Love Story all over again. Except that a) she’s a ‘slut’ and b) the disease is the catalyst for the movement from sluttiness towards wholesomeness. I’m sure Sarah Palin approves. She probably thinks that disease is a result of naughty behaviour. That is, if you’re part of the god squad, sin is punished. If you’re all growed-up, then pleasure leads to pain. Do you think she’d get on with Glen Hoddle?

I was going to blog about obsessive behaviours, but … oh, hang on …

It seems, people, that diseases like Parkinson’s and [insert whatever the character in this film has] are now blessings in disguise, as they teach the sufferer the true meaning of the American Dream.

That is beyond offensive.

Personally, I’m with Glee here – someone I know tells me they’re homosexual, I say, er, whatever. The same person comes out of the chapel as a ‘Religious person’ (and I really mean those people who have damascene conversions here. Odious fucks they inevitably are. Sorry. But that’s what I see), and I wince in horror.

The conclusion? Dread diseases are the new black. What’s yours?

© Pete Langman 2011